Going against the grain.

It’s not until I suffered from severe depression and anxiety that I realised the sheer amount of BS people post on social media. I, myself, can be accused of doing such a thing in the past, and am now working on changing my ways. Why? Well, having sat there and scrolled through friend’s Facebook status’ and Instagram feeds during months of feeling like shite, I realised that it was no longer out of curiosity – it was feeding my depression, justifying why I felt so bad by looking at what others had.. the more I saw, the more awful I felt, but I couldn’t look away, and it’s had unwanted consequences. I found myself envious of people’s happiness. I couldn’t figure out how all of these people were going on amazing holidays, loved the gym, enjoyed eating salads to obtain their seemingly perfect bodies, and enjoyed their great careers and busy, exciting social calender’s. How have I managed to miss out on this when the God’s were dishing out such great qualities??

I am notorious for comparing myself (I’d love to get on my high horse and claim I do not, and I haven’t been sucked into the stereotypical victim of social media BS, but alas, this is not the point of the blog!) – comparing, accompanied with low self esteem and deep concern for how other people view me, has left me in a pretty big shit pit. In fact, I am only just beginning to come out of a dark year, and am still figuring out how to go about my life, and how not to go back.

I figured (although this is not a refreshingly exciting new idea for a blog!), that I would not be the only one sitting behind a screen feeling worse, and worse, about my life (and carby dinner!!) choices. So, here it.. a life of a 27 year old, average woman, who is in search of genuine happiness. Not, Insta-filtered, edited FB-status’, social media happiness.. true, inner happiness.. and you’re welcome to read about this ridiculous journey with me. It won’t be pretty though!

 

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